Friday, September 24, 2010

Who the hell wants to have a kid like him??

These days my neighbour’s kids are giving me sleepless nights. One of the kids is 1 or 2 years old and is a big pain in the ass. He is always crying for something or the other. We share a common boundary and gallery so I can clearly hear him wailing all night. The other one is around 5 and is no less than his younger brother. He crossed all the limits yesterday. I was watching a movie in my room when the door bell rang. I got up and opened the door but couldn't see anyone around so came back to my room and continued with the movie. Luckily I was facing the window and after 5 minutes I saw that kid running towards my door, pressing the door bell and running back. I then knew he is playing some cheap prank on me. He came for the third time but as I saw him approaching towards my door, I ran outside, opened the door and jumped on him. The kid was taken aback and started crying. I then scolded him and told him not to do that again. I came back to my room and started thinking how mischievous little kids are. Then I remembered about this particular kid.

This kid was in lower kindergarten but smart enough to dodge his teachers and parents by lying on certain things to cover up his fault. He started day dreaming in kindergarten itself, used to think about flying kites on the terrace of his house and even sometimes taught his classmates how to fly a kite not caring about the teachers scolding. He used to kill big ants just to see the colour of their blood. He didn't stop stealing pencil boxes from his friends bags until he got humiliated in the class in front of his friends. He used to mix brufen (an antibiotic pink in colour) with gems and give it to his friends and laugh hysterically after seeing the priceless expression on his friends face when they chew that antibiotic.

He was always sleeping in class, whether it was the first day of his school the last. He was very violent when he was in 2nd or 3rd standard and used to beat up his classmates without any reason. He forcibly used to eat his friends lunchbox but had to stop when one of his friend’s mom came down to school to complain about him. He was quite innocent when he was in 2nd standard; didn’t know the true meaning of the song ‘choli ke picche kya hai’ and used to sing out loudly in class and school campus. He always knew how to make the best use of scissors by cutting his bench partner’s bag and on being caught by teachers justifying his action innocently by saying that it is fun to cut a friend’s bag rather than cutting his own bag. He used to take fights with his classmates and one day he went to the extent of cutting his own hands with a blade just to prove that his friend started the fight.

Many a times he threw his bicycle from first floor when his parents refused to take him on a ride. He once tried to imitate his dad by switching on the ignition of his car and putting it on gear little knowing anything about the clutch, break or gear. His favourite event at any school picnic takes place in the bus, on the way to the picnic spot when he manages to convince his friends to indulge with him in his little prank of popping their heads out of the bus window, making expressions as if they were scared or frightened and then shout ‘help-help’ to the local public.

He didn't stop even when due to some problem in legs he had to walk with the help of sticks. He started beating his classmates with the very same stick he used for walking. He also enjoyed dirtying his classroom walls with his stick pad. On finding his classroom empty, during school hours he went to the extent of peeing behind the doors of his classroom. Writing stuffs at the back of others shirt in school was pretty normal. He learned how to bunk assembly and hide in biology lab and then hide his teacher’s compass box and lunch box. After growing up a little more, along with his friends he started stalking girls followed by the regular ogling and catcallings. On learning how to ride a bike, doing stunts on the road became his favourite time pass and chasing the girl on who he had a severe crush became his hobby. He puts all his strength and energy in finding out the printing press where the exam papers of his school were printed and on failing to do so bribing his math and physics teacher to pass in class.

Yeah obviously there were quite a few casualties during these operations. Many a times in front of the whole class he got severe beatings from his teachers, punishment outside principal’s office once almost every month, scolding from his parents; but this kid was, is and will always be unstoppable.


Mehak said...

that kid is still a pain in the ass. :P :P

Quaintzy Patchez said...

creepy kids. God!

Jaspreet said...

Lol...'that kid' went to the extent of peeing in the class?? :D

bhavana said...

kaun hai be?? kahin tu to nahi !!!!

VIPUL said...

So finally an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.. This new kid is goin to outbid you in watever u did.. So innovate new ways, in watever days u hav got..
One more thing..
Wat goes by,, comes by;)
Wat u do,, it wat u r done;)

Yamini said...

Wow.... the kid oughta be you.. who knows a kid so well!! :D

Great piece! :)