Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What a rip off #2

I had travelled a lot in train during my college days. My train journeys were generally long and boring. But there had been quite a few incidences that had transformed my ordinary train journey into an extraordinary one. One of such incidents can be read here. And now I would like to talk about the other one which is amongst the top of all the (mis)adventures I had ever been into during my college days.

The semester exams coming to an end and there was excitement everywhere; excitement that the exams would be over soon and we would go home. Finally the day came when the exams got over and I boarded a train to Delhi. Dalla and Baba were also with me. Customarily, the first thing we did was to check out if there were any hot girls in our compartment. Not finding any, with a sheer disappointment we mentally prepared ourselves for another long, boring and a dull 40 hours journey; little knowing that this time the lady luck is on our side. After 5 minutes, two girls came and sat on the opposite seat.

One of them was wearing a green top and other one was in a red hot top and they both were in tracks. They seemed to be in late 20’s and were wearing a lot of makeup and were looking hot. We couldn’t believe our luck. Now we know that these 40 hours in train would not be long and boring. We didn’t make the first move and started talking to them immediately. Instead, to draw their attention towards us, we started talking to each other about stuffs like how cool our college is, how rocking our hostel life is and how good the city is and other random stuffs just as a show-off.

Our intention was pure and simple – draw their attention towards us. Although we were desperate to talk to them, we didn’t want to look like one so we waited for them to make the first move.

To our despair they didn’t initiate talking that whole day. Next day they wanted to get their cell phones charged so they spoke to us for the first time. One of them asked us if we can go to the ac compartment and get their phones charged. Now although I was desperate to talk to them, I was not ready to take the pain of going all the way to the ac compartment and wait there till their phones get charged. Dalla saw this as a huge opportunity to befriend them and went to the ac compartment and got their phones charged. Thanks to him, at least they started communicating with us. They asked us all about our college, hostel, home, exams, girlfriends and what not. In the mean time they demanded cool drinks from the pantry. This time it was baba’s turn to go and I was saved again but not for long. At the next station they demanded some magazine from the book stall on the railway platform and I had to go and get it for them. The made us work the entire day and none of us could say a simple ‘no’ to them.

At night I decided to go to bed a little early because I had to get down at 4 in morning. Dalla and baba were in train till noon so they decided to stay awake for some more time. As I was about to sleep, one of them said to me –

chick in the red hot top – your hostel and college sounds really exciting.
me – yup, it is an amazing place.
chick in the red hot top – are all engineering colleges exciting or it’s just yours?
me – I bet college and hostel life is rocking where ever you go and engineering is so cool. (Obviously I eliminated the part that engineering sucks during exams)
chick in the red hot top - is that so?? that’s why my son says that he wants to be an engineer.
chick in green top to the chick in the red hot top – yeah and my son wants to be in your son’s college just like he is now with your son in the same class. They are inseparable friends.
me – (with a little surprise and disappointment) oh so you both have a son.
chick in green top – yes I have only one son and she has one son and one daughter.
me – oh ok. so your son is in which standard? 1st ?
chick in green top – what!! our son’s are in 12th standard.
me – (wdf !! wdf!! ) WHAT !! you both have sons who are in 12th standard ? (wdf !! wdf!! )
chick in the red hot top – yeah we do. Why are you so surprised? Why can’t our sons be in 12th standard?
me – no, yes; I mean yeah of course your son can be in 12th standard, why can’t he be in 12th standard. He can definitely be in 12th standard. Once I was also in 12th standard. (I had no clue of what I was speaking) Ok I have to get up early tomorrow morning so I should better sleep now.

With this I ended the conversation with them. I was shocked and I didn’t know how to react. I looked at dalla and baba. Apparently they were listening to our conversation and were in the same state of shock and speechlessness as I was in and they also decided to sleep immediately.

I didn’t get sleep for a long time. All sorts of bad and weird thoughts were coming to my mind. Come to think of it; we were trying to flirt with two women who were having sons in 12th standard!! The first thing I decided to do on reaching home was to get my eyes tested. Something must be seriously wrong with my eyes as it couldn’t differentiate between a girl in her late 20’s and a woman who has a son in 12th standard. I just prayed that our actions had not made them suspicious that we were trying to flirt with them the entire day.

I started consoling myself by telling my mind that it’s not entirely my fault that I did such a thing. Their dress and makeup were equally guilty. I started wondering what all this fuss about makeup is. Makeup – its dictionary meaning is “Cosmetics applied to the face to improve or change your appearance”. But believe me, it’s much more then this. Makeup is something that completely transforms a girl into something we can never-ever imagine. It is some kind of layer that is coated on our eyes that makes us lose our power to see the real face behind that makeup and hence we are forced to live in some delusion. Makeup is one of the most powerful weapons ever invented on earth.

I don’t know for how long I was thinking stuffs like this. Finally I got sleep and woke up in morning. Those two ladies were still sleeping, I woke up dalla and baba and we all decided not to discuss about this accident and just forget everything considering it as one of the worst nightmares we’d ever had.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Who the hell wants to have a kid like him??

These days my neighbour’s kids are giving me sleepless nights. One of the kids is 1 or 2 years old and is a big pain in the ass. He is always crying for something or the other. We share a common boundary and gallery so I can clearly hear him wailing all night. The other one is around 5 and is no less than his younger brother. He crossed all the limits yesterday. I was watching a movie in my room when the door bell rang. I got up and opened the door but couldn't see anyone around so came back to my room and continued with the movie. Luckily I was facing the window and after 5 minutes I saw that kid running towards my door, pressing the door bell and running back. I then knew he is playing some cheap prank on me. He came for the third time but as I saw him approaching towards my door, I ran outside, opened the door and jumped on him. The kid was taken aback and started crying. I then scolded him and told him not to do that again. I came back to my room and started thinking how mischievous little kids are. Then I remembered about this particular kid.

This kid was in lower kindergarten but smart enough to dodge his teachers and parents by lying on certain things to cover up his fault. He started day dreaming in kindergarten itself, used to think about flying kites on the terrace of his house and even sometimes taught his classmates how to fly a kite not caring about the teachers scolding. He used to kill big ants just to see the colour of their blood. He didn't stop stealing pencil boxes from his friends bags until he got humiliated in the class in front of his friends. He used to mix brufen (an antibiotic pink in colour) with gems and give it to his friends and laugh hysterically after seeing the priceless expression on his friends face when they chew that antibiotic.

He was always sleeping in class, whether it was the first day of his school the last. He was very violent when he was in 2nd or 3rd standard and used to beat up his classmates without any reason. He forcibly used to eat his friends lunchbox but had to stop when one of his friend’s mom came down to school to complain about him. He was quite innocent when he was in 2nd standard; didn’t know the true meaning of the song ‘choli ke picche kya hai’ and used to sing out loudly in class and school campus. He always knew how to make the best use of scissors by cutting his bench partner’s bag and on being caught by teachers justifying his action innocently by saying that it is fun to cut a friend’s bag rather than cutting his own bag. He used to take fights with his classmates and one day he went to the extent of cutting his own hands with a blade just to prove that his friend started the fight.

Many a times he threw his bicycle from first floor when his parents refused to take him on a ride. He once tried to imitate his dad by switching on the ignition of his car and putting it on gear little knowing anything about the clutch, break or gear. His favourite event at any school picnic takes place in the bus, on the way to the picnic spot when he manages to convince his friends to indulge with him in his little prank of popping their heads out of the bus window, making expressions as if they were scared or frightened and then shout ‘help-help’ to the local public.

He didn't stop even when due to some problem in legs he had to walk with the help of sticks. He started beating his classmates with the very same stick he used for walking. He also enjoyed dirtying his classroom walls with his stick pad. On finding his classroom empty, during school hours he went to the extent of peeing behind the doors of his classroom. Writing stuffs at the back of others shirt in school was pretty normal. He learned how to bunk assembly and hide in biology lab and then hide his teacher’s compass box and lunch box. After growing up a little more, along with his friends he started stalking girls followed by the regular ogling and catcallings. On learning how to ride a bike, doing stunts on the road became his favourite time pass and chasing the girl on who he had a severe crush became his hobby. He puts all his strength and energy in finding out the printing press where the exam papers of his school were printed and on failing to do so bribing his math and physics teacher to pass in class.

Yeah obviously there were quite a few casualties during these operations. Many a times in front of the whole class he got severe beatings from his teachers, punishment outside principal’s office once almost every month, scolding from his parents; but this kid was, is and will always be unstoppable.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


“Have you gone crazy!! I have no ego issues. “shouted Kshitij at the top of his voice.

Really!! You don’t like hearing a ‘no’ for an answer, you don’t like borrowing money from your friends even when you need it, you don’t like going on a friend’s treat because you have never treated them and still you say you have no ego issues. Small-small things define your attitude towards life and you have a very high self esteem. Self esteem = not hearing ‘no’ = ego. Well this may not be always true but it is in your case.

Navya’s words kept Kshitij wondering. He met her some 2 years back and they became very good friends. Navya was a very helpful, sweet and friendly girl and Kshitij was always there by her side whenever she needed him, he can do anything to help her, to be with her. They both share a passion for food, both can hog like pigs, they were hogging buddies. They had nothing else in common except for this one more thing – ego. They both have ego issues. Navya always knew that she is suffering from this disease, Kshitij didn’t; but Navya could always see the symptoms of this disease in him. It was she who made him realize this. Their friendship lasted for some two years. They fought a lot in those two years and also spend some very good moments together. No matter how much they fight, in the end they were good friends.

Things changed one day. They again fought with each other on some stupid issue, but this time the fight was different. This was their last fight as they never fought after that and this was because they never remained friends after that. It was the ego that came in their way and eventually they both stopped talking to each other, stopped having lunch with each other. Navya left India after 2 months. Kshitij couldn’t even say goodbye to her as he had to go to his home around the time Navya was leaving India. He didn’t even meet her before going home and by the time he came back, Navya was gone.

It has been three years now. They had never spoken to each other since their last fight. Kshitij could never forget his friend and the same was with Navya. They both liked each other so much and were such good fiends but could not speak again. They often wonder at the power of this ego which has separated two good friends with such an ease, their ego was even bigger then their friendship. They know it’s just an ego that is coming in between their friendship, yet they made no effort to make any amendments; they are still suffering from this disease. Such is the power of this ego.

May be one day they will find a cure to this disease and will realize what all they have been losing all these years and then they will be friends again, that will be the day they will realize that life is so short and one cannot afford to waste it on stupid things like this. One day.... some day.....

After writing this story I realized how difficult it is to write fiction. Kudos to all those people out there who write fiction with such an ease.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Should I really celebrate??

I still remember the day - 28th July, 2008. There were some 20 other people like me in the lounge of the Executive Inn, dressed in formals, waiting for the cab to come. A mixed feeling of excitement and happiness could be seen on everyone’s face. In a few days it will be 28th July again. It has been two years since then. Things have changed a lot in these two years. The feeling of excitement, happiness has long lost its place and commotion, confusion has taken over. I don’t know whether I should celebrate or I should curse myself on completing 2 years in this place. Just within a few months of joining I realized that this is not the place for me. I was never meant to be here; still I am here for the past two years. Since then I have been trying to get out in vain. I am still not sure what to do. Despite of the dislike I am still here, this place is fun even though everything here except a few people sucks. But it's not fun any more as friends are leaving this place and going. The force that was bonding me to this place is now breaking. Coming months are going to be very tough now. Have to think of something fast; very fast. I will be completing two years in this place in a few days but there is no excitement anywhere. So should I really celebrate?? Well I don't see any reason to do so.

Friday, June 18, 2010

How is IT effecting our lives..

Nope, this post is not at all about the technical stuff neither it has anything to do with the things that are once imaginary but due to the evolution of technology are very much possible now nor am I trying to explain how simple and easy life has become due to the evolution of technology. Instead, I am trying to look at the other aspects of IT, the way we are getting indulged in it and how it has started affecting our daily life.

I had a mixed feeling of happy and sad when I read this article in which people had mentioned about some weird incidences that had happened to them. Happy because I was not alone to experience such a thing, there were others also who were going crazy like me, sad because I was thinking how the future would be if this continues to happen. Anyways who cares about the future. So this is what people have to say, the incidences which can clearly be termed as the side effect of IT.

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "Why is mom not attending the status call?"

Once after talking to one of my friends I ended the conversation saying.. "ok bye.. in case of any issues will call you back"

While watching TV when I want to check the time, I look at the bottom right corner of my TV for time.

Once late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card to open the lock and only after few seconds I realized what I am trying to do.

I got a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from news channel to the DVD while watching TV.

When I went to a movie theatre from office directly, I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in. He had to call me back asking for ticket.

I would like to mention about the conversation I had in a hospital with another techie like me while waiting for our turns to visit the doctor.
N - Hi, I am N.
Me – Hi, I am laddu
N – So where do you work?
Me – I work in so and so company.
N – Why are you here?
Me – I met with an accident.
N – Oh. Ok
After some 10 minutes.
N – This doctor is taking so much time to check every patient. Btw what is your login id?
Me – It is axch….. arrr.. What do you mean by my login id?
N – Oh sorry. I mean what is your visiting number?
Me – 22
N – Oh mine is 24.
Me – ok

She wanted to ask me my visiting number but the first thing that came in her mind was the login id. Since the time I had this conversation with her I am wondering about the deep impact IT is making on our lives. May be the impact is much more on a techie then a human being. (Yes, sometimes I do wonder whether techies are human beings !!!!!)
Sometime back I heard this ad on radio. In this ad the teacher is asking the kid to make the sound of various animals.
Teacher – How does a cat speak?
Kid – meow-meow.
Teacher - How does a dog speak?
Kid – bow-bow
Teacher - How does a mouse speak?
Kid – click-click

Do I need to say anything more about this ad? Here are few pics and a video which I have collected from various sources and are self explanatory like the above mentioned ad.

I have read somewhere – Software engineers never die. They just go offline.
P.S – People this does not mean that if tomorrow I go offline you should consider me as dead.

Monday, April 5, 2010

One hell of a trip it was....

I had never been to Pondicherry. I suddenly got some urgent work there this Saturday so had to rush there. It was on a very short notice so I didn’t get direct tickets, had to go through Chennai. So I started my journey on Thursday night. I was supposed to catch a bus to Chennai from Shanti-Nagar bus stop. There was this guy in the bus. All through the way to bus stop he was crying out loudly while talking to someone on cell about the build he gave and it got failed and he was supposed to finish his work by Monday and now he won’t be able to deliver it and this is appraisal time and the mail got escalated. Now I was expecting some peace when I left office but I had to hear all this crap. Finally I reached the bus stop and boarded the bus to Chennai.

I was happy that finally I am getting out of this IT crap and will get to enjoy life for a few days. But there was something else in store for me. I must have done some sins in the past and the almighty chose this day to punish me for my sins. There was a group of 4 girls and 2 guys. As Friday was off thus making it an extended weekend, they decided to encash the opportunity like everyone else and planned a quick visit to their native places – Chennai. As they got settled down in the bus they started complaining about their company. They started with how they dreamed of getting into development and ended in testing; how bad their appraisal go; how they were transferred to Bangalore in spite of opting for Chennai etc.etc. They were discussing on how to shift to development and grab an opportunity to go on site. Now there was this a**hole sitting behind them. He was listening to them. As they paused to take a break he started his own story. He had a 4 plus years of experience into this IT industry so he thought it was his birth right to jump into someone else’s discussions and give them free gyaan at the cost of the comfort of other poor souls who were desperately seeking a way out of this IT and were trying to get some sleep. He started saying that the freshers are like raw material, you can mould them into anything and you all are freshers, should learn new technology and get knowledge blabh blabh blabh…. I felt like stabbing him to death or hacking his mail account and sending his resignation letter to his lead. But I was helpless. Somehow with great difficulty I got sleep.

I reached Chennai in morning and immediately got a bus to Pondicherry. I was happy that finally I am out of all the noises; or so I thought. First hour of the journey was ok and then the bus came out of the city and hit the highway. Now the driver of the bus was a bit old and was driving carefully and at a moderate speed. There were these 3 jerks that started complaining to the conductor about how slowly the driver is driving even though it is a highway. The conductor ignored them and went at the back of the bus and sat down there. Those 3 were getting impatient and after 10 minutes started shouting at the driver like crazy asking him to drive fast. One of them was sitting next to me and the other two were exactly behind me. They were shouting in my ears. The driver stopped the bus and he also started shouting at them. It felt like they would kill each other over the speed of the bus and will make me go deaf by shouting out so loudly. My head was aching badly with all the torture I had been through right from the moment I had started my journey from my home. As if all this was not enough, a dust particle went into my eye and caused a lot of irritation. I tried everything to get it out, washed my eyes several times with water but all my efforts went in vain. I finally gave up and thought of going to some doctor in Pondicherry if the problem persists.

Finally somehow I reached Pondicherry, alive but with a head ache and irritation in eye. It was around 10 A.M and it was scorching hot. One of my friends had done all the arrangements. I directly went to the hotel and the first thing I did was to wash my eyes again with cold water and it was gone; the dust particle was no more stuck in my eyes. I felt relaxed, checked in the hotel and after taking bath went to bed with a bad head ache thinking how bad my journey was. I woke up after some 3 hours and zappp – head ache was also gone. I was normal now. My friend had arrived a day earlier and got a bike on rent. Now it was the time to explore Pondicherry.

It is a nice but hot place. The very first thing one should do is to get a bike on rent because it’s very difficult to commute through bus and auto guys will rob you of your cash. I had lunch in a café. There they have this special Italian pizza which they will bake on wooden bricks and in a weird kind of oven. They don’t use microwave. Then there is a bakery. The rates are very less. You can get fresh breads, cakes, pastries at a very low rate. Going forward on the same road you can go to the ashram. I am not so much into ashram so I didn’t go there. The ashram is famous and people who come there do visit that ashram. My friend didn’t find it interesting and so I also ditched the plan of visiting it. Also it gets closed in evening and there is about a km walk from the parking to go to the ashram so all the interest of visiting that ashram vanished in a second because no-way I was in for a km walk in that sun. It was very hot there.

As it was hot we came back to the hotel and went to the terrace and sat there under the shade. I had seen this kind of view only in movies. We were facing Bay of Bengal. For a moment I was stunned, there was nothing but just water in front of my eyes. There was nothing beyond that. The waves were hitting the shore, creating a soft noise. One can spend hours sitting at a place like this.

In evening two more people joined us. One of them told that there is a beach somewhere in Pondicherry where we can see lots of foreigners and that too in the proper costume. He was not sure about the name of the beach so we made him call his friend who was his source of such valuable information. His friend gave us the directions and we reached there within half hour. The name of the beach is Auro beach. This was the second time in a day that I was stunned. Again I have seen such things only in movies. What a view it was, not the beach but the people out there. I forgot to admire the beach and was just admiring the people who were in their proper costumes. There was a small building on the side of the beach where all foreigners were going after taking bath in the beach. We also try to enter but were stopped. We were told that Indians are not allowed inside so we couldn’t enter. I think it was some place to stay only for foreigners. After spending some quality time on the beach we went to the market.
The market is also huge and it’s mainly for clothes and handicraft materials. Then we went to Pondicherry beach for some time, had dinner somewhere came back to hotel and slept.

Next day I finished the work for which I was there by 12.30 P.M. Went to the market again and then went to Pondicherry beach. It’s a beautiful beach. There is a café on the beach by name Le Café which is open 24*7. One can easily sit there and spend hours. We spend some time there and then had lunch in the India Coffee House. It was awesome. My friends had to buy some stuffs for their girl friends so we did some shopping. By that time it was evening and we again went to Pondicherry beach. The beach road is blocked after 5pm and we cannot take our vehicles to the road. We can park it in parking and just walk on the beach and the road. It was even more beautiful in the evening with the lightings on one side of the road and the beach on the other.

There are also many good churches. I went to just one of them. We returned the bike at night and caught the train back to Bangalore. As a whole it was an amazing trip. Pondicherry is also famous for cheep liquor but since none of us drink, it wasn’t of any use for us. Well if someone is fond of food, booze, beaches it is surely a place to visit.